Garden Gnomes Galore
by Aurora077
Summary: He awoke from a nightmare about garden gnomes and shuddered. "Bloody hell what a nightmare!" He blamed the twins. It really was all their fault. {From a tumblr prompt Reviews are always appreciated }


Title: Garden Gnomes Galore

Summary: He awoke from a nightmare about garden gnomes and shuddered. "Bloody hell what a nightmare!" He blamed the twins. It really was all their fault.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to JKR.

He awoke from a nightmare about garden gnomes and shuddered. "Bloody hell what a nightmare!" Ron said to himself, wiping his sweaty forehead and panting as he tried to regain his breath. He blamed the twins. It was really all their fault.

It had all started off fairly innocently. The twins had asked for his help gathering info on his dorm mates' cheese preferences.

They didn't tell him what they were going to do with that information and he didn't dare ask. Hermione had taught him this concept of plausible deniability and he was going to use it. At least, he thought he was using the term correctly. He just wanted to be able to say he had no idea about anything the twins were doing when his dorm mates eventually ended up as the butt of their pranks.

Well, he hadn't counted on them pranking him as well.

It was a pre-trial trial they claimed. Before they tested it out on his dorm mates, they tested it out on _him_.

In the middle of Charlie's wedding.

Charlie and his bride found it hilarious. His mother on the other hand, did not. And well, neither did he!

What was so horrendous you might ask? Well, the twins were trying to make trick cheese. When you ate it, it would give you some qualities of the type of cheese in question. Ron had a particular affinity for swiss cheese, and later on, camembert. Though camembert was quite expensive so he didn't get it often, but for the wedding it was provided since it was also a favourite of Charlie's bride.

They had just cut the cake and were serving hor d'oeuvres when Ron spotted one of the bride's pretty cousins. He sauntered over to her, trying to make small talk but when he got close she screwed up her nose and walked away.

"Well, that was rude," Ron mumbled. He continued eating hor d'oeuvres off the plate in front of him. He looked around to see if any of his friends were around. "Hey mate!" he cried, spotting Harry. He made his way over to him. "Hey Ron," Harry grinned. When Ron got to him however Harry's grin slipped away. "Um, mate, you okay?" he asked. "Of course I am, why wouldn't I be? I feel amazing, these horsdevres things taste great," he said. "Ah okay, it's hot in here isn't it? Aren't you sweaty in those dress robes? Maybe you should go change, I think you're starting to go red from the heat you know?" Harry said, laughing nervously. "Nah mate that's too much trouble, I feel fine," he said, waving the suggestion aside. "Ahaha um good to know bro, um is that Tonks dancing the macarena?" he pointed, while Ron turned his head to look. "I don't see Tonks, that's Aunt Muriel eating cake," Ron said, turning back to Harry. Except, Harry was gone.

"Huh where'd he disappear to," Ron wondered and shrugged, oh well, he'd just occupy himself with food. He didn't notice everyone giving him a wide berth all of a sudden. He continued stuffing himself with the three cheese medley on crackers. His stomach started feeling funny though and he thought maybe he shouldn't have eaten so much cheese. He started to make his way to the garden to get some fresh air when a girl beside him shrieked. Everyone paused to see what was going on, including him. "Huh why is everyone looking at me?" he mumbled. Someone's kid pointed at him, saying "Look mum, he's holey!" He looked at his stomach where the kid was pointing.

This is the part where he screams and pandemonium reigns.

Well, not completely. But everyone did start to mutter and point in his direction. Aunt Muriel headed over to him, "Looks like your stomach decided to take a vacation Ronald dear". For where his stomach one was, there was just a round hole. He passed his hand over the area, sure he was just dreaming. But no, it was gone. And...was his hand turning orange? He ran out into the garden desperate to escape the stares and figure out what was going on with him. Did someone curse him?

So frantic was he to escape the crowd he didn't realise he was further from the house than he meant to be. He had calmed down slightly, figuring he would go find his father (definitely not his mother, she would freak out about him ruining the wedding) and see if they could find out what the problem was. But before he could move he felt as if an insect were on him. Scratch that it felt like many insects. He shook his foot intending to get rid of any insects, when he realised, they weren't insects. They were garden gnomes, rapidly making their way up his legs.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he squealed, and just started running, hoping they would fall off. He didn't even know why there were on him, he wasn't a bush.

He got his answer a minute later when one launched itself through the hole in his stomach, laughing with delight. Others started to do the same (running was not effective at tossing them off). But he still ran anyway, straight through the wedding party, causing chaos. "Let me help you Ronald!" said Aunt Muriel, casting a gnome repelling spell at him. The gnomes went flying. A gnome landed in someone's hair and another hit someone in the face. One landed in a platter of cheese. The bride's father had a deathly fear of gnomes and was climbing the tent pole to escape. Charlie's bride was looking confused and Charlie was laughing his hair off. Finally he ceased his running, when he bumped into his mother.

Her face was red and fuming and she was about to scream at him, he could see it. But then her eyes dropped a little lower and saw through the donut sized hole in the middle of his stomach that gave her a clear view straight through to the other side. Instead of screaming she fainted. "Well that's a first," Arthur said, holding his wife before she could hit the floor. It was. Molly didn't usually do fainting, she was the mother of the twins after all.

THE TWINS!

It hit him then. Oh this was definitely their doing! He had been eating cheese hadn't he? He was orange like cheddar and holey like swiss. (He didn't realise he was also smelly like camembert).

He spotted Hermione in the crowd. "Did you see Fred and George," he asked, marching up to her. "I think they went up to their room," she said, "Also, Ronald, you...may want to take a bath when this is over. I don't mean to be rude, but well, you smell like cheese." She blurted this out at him and made herself scarce.

"Oh great now I've scared Hermione away, I am going to _kill_ them!" he swore, stomping up the stairs to look for the twins.

He got to their room and banged on the door, "I know you're in there you prats! What did you do to me?! Get rid of it right now!"

George opened the door sheepishly, "Heyyy little brother, fancy seeing you here." He pushed him out of the way and went into the room. "Fix me!" he raged.

The twins shared a glance. Fred rubbed the back of his head, "Well, you see...the antidote will be ready in about an hour."

"WHAT!" Ron said, his face purpling with rage, which was quite the sight as he was steadily more orange as time passed.

"Hey but at least now you match your hair right?" George giggled. Yes. Giggled.

Ron felt like he would explode.

"Um but, while we wait for the antidote to finish brewing, mind stepping outside, you kinda stink," Fred said, holding his nose.

Ron was about to retort but then thought better of it. He grinned instead. "Oh no, see, I am staying right here with you guys until it's ready," he smirked. If he had to suffer, so would they.

The twins looked at each other and grimaced.

It was a long hour.


End file.
